THE WILD WEIRD WORLD OF SPORTS

In Beijing right now, all life’s a party. A happy, happy, perfectly perfect party.

In fact, the people (and government) only wants folks (and the world) to see how perfect China is.

So, when I wandered into the field hockey venue Wednesday and spotted a volunteer napping, I was discouraged from photographing it. In fact, a woman woke him up to “prevent” reality from being recorded. Guess it’s not OK to be tired in public.

It really pissed me off. Not that I missed out on a good photo, but because things here are so scripted. Everyone is so joyous – almost like being in SLC. It can get a bit old fast.

Seeing reality in Beijing is about as trying at times as seeing through the officially unsanctioned smog.

However, soon after this napping scenario, I bumped into the group of volunteers again in the hallway. They were practicing skits (like a Snow White spoof) in preparation for a group party that night. Everyone with a birthday during the Olympic Games was to be toasted and entertained.

While waiting for the party to begin, I hung out at the venue, which is about 2 km north of the Olympic Stadium. Aside from a couple photogs shooting field hockey practice, I had the place to myself. Felt nice, really nice.

I heard some celebrating and wandered into the archery stadium, where all the volunteers gathered together for a pep rally. Cheers, songs and boring speeches from long-winded officials.

After all the goodwill, I followed the volunteers to the cafeteria, making a couple boring frames. A nice woman started a conversation, inviting me to dinner. Why not? (Actually, I was starving! There aren’t any restaurants or food stands open yet.)

After digging into my food tray of really authentic Chinese food, an official cornered me, asking me why I was there. I wasn’t supposed to see this. I explained that I had been invited, but if he wanted me to leave, that I would.

Of course, that would be losing some face and perfect air of hospitality. So instead, I had a shadow watch me eat and chitchat, then exit the dining area. I promised I wouldn’t publish any photos from dinner. The woman I spoke with said she’d get into trouble if I did.

Again, China doesn’t want to show off reality. And that includes people napping, eating and living in cramped quarters in the far reaches of the Olympic Green.

That’s too much reality for the world to see.

But who doesn’t love a party? A perfectly, happy party…

I spent Tuesday trying to figure out my program. I’m really happy I decided to show up early to China. In some ways, though, it may have been too early. Some of the craziness I’d expect with the Olympics weren’t always present. I have to remind myself to chill, that the Games start on Friday.

I visited my first venue, the aquatic center, aka The Bubble. Even despite spending some time in the basement shooting through a window, I just wasn’t feeling any real moments. Some eye candy, to be sure. But as Pietsch would say, “Is there any there there??”

I’ve always felt that there’s a conspiracy to poison the media. No one thinks how to properly feed starving, exhausted journalists. At most sporting events, you’re “lucky” to get leftover pizza and brats, washed down with lukewarm soda.

The cafeteria at the MPC (Main Press Center) has a solid variety of cuisine, as well as salads and sandwiches. But the main player there is Mickey-D’s, the official junk food of the Olympics. Coke is the official swill.

There was a dress rehearsal for the Opening Ceremonies, complete with fans in attendance. The practice track and area around the Bird’s Nest were swamped with costumed performers.

It was nice to have something to photograph, even though it wasn’t very exciting. A bunch of us bored photographers tried to squeeze blood from a stone.

After shooting for over an hour, some of the volunteer security started to get very nervous and tried to get us further away from the scene. They first created a Human Great Wall. Didn’t bother me because I’m way taller than them, simply shot over their heads.

That frustrated them, so they created another human fence 3 meters further back and had their tallest kid, 5’10″, stand right in front of me. Still, no affect. Just made me laugh.

Bring it on, Shorty!

Even their fenced-off areas are manageable. Guess they weren’t planning on a 6’2″ American. Suckahs.

No one shoots the color red better than Chip Litherland. Dude, you should be here. You’d go happily insane.

You’d think the cab drivers would know the city. Think again.

Olympic volunteers? Um, no.

The cops? 性交 that.

Now, I’m not expecting folks to know the addy for some hole-in-the-wall restaurant. But, we were looking for the Olympic venue – with maps in hand. And yet locals acted like you were searching for the Holy Grail.

The eye candy of China is without question the ever-present military. It’s so hard not to shoot them. Even though we’ve gotten some hairy eyeballs, most have come to terms with their new-found celebrity. All I can say is that I’m glad they don’t shoot back.

After walking 2 miles to find a metro, KG, Strazz and I headed south towards Tianamen Square (“T Square” from now on because I’m tired of spell-checking it).

We came across an outdoor rec center about 8 blocks from T Square. Busy photo, but I kind of like the mayhem.

The mayhem the city does not want you to see is its dirty laundry. So, they’ve erected a bunch of mural façades painting a prettier picture in front of trashy buildings and rubble.

The rest are a random selection of images from the city from the first few days.

KG wasted his 15 minutes of fame being interviewed by a Beijing TV crew around the Olympic Green. I can only imagine what the dubbed translation said he said.